As a networking leader, I’ve noticed some clear trends and patterns in networking. Quite simply, in the best of times the fewest number of people would come out to network and in the worst of times the most people came out. I’ll explain why in a moment, but all in all, this wasn’t working for most.
The initial question I set out to address and solve was, “If high touch interpersonal networking is supposed to be the #1 way to stimulate business expansion opportunities, then why isn’t it working the way it should? In short, why has networking fallen so far from grace?”
And so I went to work.
The year was 2007 and we were, unknown to us at the time, at the top of the market in the US and the crowds at networking gatherings were fairly thin. And if I had used my own hypothesis as a litmus test, I could have had the foresight that an upcoming economic crash was soon approaching.
The value of wisdom is to be able to see the signs and be able to react accordingly. And so, here I am paying it forwards.
The obvious short answer to this observed inverse correlation with networking psychology has to do with confidence in one’s ability to at least maintain a lifestyle. Essentially, the typical person says why seek out more opportunities when you already have a full plate. But there’s more to this story. I started interviewing my fellow independent networking leaders and avid networkers, and I came up with this:
Apart from simple no-brainer transactions, such as buying a cup of coffee or other FMCG (fast moving consumer goods) products, business dealings are premised upon both trusted relationships and accountability.
Crossroads addresses the people side of deal making.
There are many potential break points during a sales cycle that have nothing to do with whether the deal itself makes sense or not. I’m talking about the people side of deal making. In order for business to successfully go over the line and yield a satisfactory outcome all around, sufficiently high enough levels of trust are essential.
Taking this further, when there are trusted relationships, business dealings will move forward at a significantly quicker pace and with less resistance than in the absence of trust.
Recently, I found additional validation having read the book by Stephen M. R. Covey, called, “The Speed of Trust”. It’s a good read, and one I would recommend.
And so a great deal of forethought has gone into why and how we do what we do at Crossroads. Our aim is to do right by our members, with a long-term perspective in mind.
Crossroads’ first manifestation was high touch interpersonal networking, with a goal of stimulating business expansion opportunities. Crossroads began curating executive networking events in 2014 and hosts gatherings on average quarterly.
Crossroads strives to be a safer-haven of an executive network.
On the surface, Crossroads events may seem like a really, really good place to meet quality people, each of whom come referred. It is by no accident; this was built upon a reputation-based model. Events are not open to the public. In order to receive an invite to these private events, someone involved needs to vouch for you, which increases both trust and accountability. While still not perfect, we are actively working towards sustainability.
Crossroads is a place of business opportunity origination.
While collecting meaningful statistics on such results is difficult, and we at Crossroads honor individuals’ requests for anonymity, we place a strong preference on presenting accurate facts. The qualitative feedback we’ve received from our attendees over the past decade have clearly and overwhelmingly shown that a significantly higher rate per capita of business deal closings that initiated through networking came through Crossroads gatherings over pretty much all other networking events, particularly public ones.
It comes down to trusted relationships, accountability and properly aligned interests.
When we speak of trust as a key cornerstone to relationship building, how do we know how much or little to trust someone we just met?
Trust is typically not binary, ie: all or none. How do we decide on a scale of 0 to 100 how much we trust someone?
Before answering that, the obvious next drill down questions become for what and to what extent do you need to trust them?
For example, I trust my dog with my life, but not with my sandwich.
And then, can I trust this person to get me coffee and bring me change for $20? Or can I trust this person on just a handshake to honor paying me a commission that’s verbally promised upon the completion of a complicated and several month long multi-million dollar transaction? (regulatory issues aside)
How much do we need to lean on “Trust but verify” before it becomes “Verify and make sure you have a good lawyer”? This becomes the case for blockchain, but that’s a completely different thread.
How do we systematically navigate and determine the trust boundaries?
And then, if we are to be honest with ourselves, and in the interest of making something meaningful happen, what about the other person’s level of trust for you? After all, it’s a 2-way street, and we can’t assume that feelings will be mutual.
There is a lot of depth to the psychology behind trust, and a recent article called, Do You Trust Too Much or Too Little? by Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT scratches the surface about evaluating the dimensions of trustworthiness.
It’s also about the ecosystem.
At Crossroads, we try to objectively analyze the fit for the room, in the interest of protecting our members and attendees from friction. Surprisingly, there are many more bad actors out there than my positive and creation-oriented spirit is able to stomach. And sadly, it only takes but one bad actor to poison a situation – and so we encourage our vetted members and attendees to act with care and deliberation when offering to extend an invitation to someone new to the group. As the saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
Beyond the extension of reputation, trust comes down to ethics and motivations. To a large extent it’s ultimately about quality of character.
The key question to ask is, “Will this person [you are considering inviting] have something positive to offer to the room and also be an asset to your reputation?”
This goes beyond, ‘is this a high net worth individual?’ or ‘does this person wield a tremendous amount of power or influence?’ Will this person add value to the room? Will this person extend goodwill? Perhaps even go the extra mile to offer to help someone with no expectation or motivated angle in return? These are the traits we seek for Crossroads gatherings.
If this were a perfect world, the question would be, “Will one’s behavior still add up when no one’s watching?” But as is human nature, that’s probably a little too much to ask as a credential. We need to balance having a sizable enough population to achieve critical mass. Not judging, just looking to be effective.
We are looking for individuals who are openly willing to give, as opposed to only take. At Crossroads events there are noticeably high levels of goodwill in the air. This is one of the special aspects that regularly has people saying, “This is one of the best events I’ve been to [ever]” or “[in a long while].”
I’m comfortable with that.
Economic Cycles and The Currency of Trust
In the best of times, much like the observed inverse turnout at networking events, trust levels tend to have a high direct correlation with how good the economic times are. And in the worst of times, when trust is needed most to make business happen amidst challenging headwinds, this is ironically when trust levels begin to plummet towards depths that make us rethink relationships and consider the likes of blockchain solutions over trusting in individuals. And unfortunately we often find out this ugly truth by getting burnt ourselves.
Mind you, this is not just limited to business transactions; rather it bleeds into all areas of our lives. I might consider placing a casual wager on a growth trend for number of heartbreaks in declining times.
And so I want to shine a light on getting out ahead of this.
When we think of alternative currencies, I would dare to say that trust is one of the most important currencies. And while some currencies may not buy you a loaf of bread, they have the power to open heavy doors that enable you to achieve your goals.
“Trust is the ultimate human currency.”
- SAP CEO, Bill McDermott,
Don’t discount goodwill either. On one hand, it can be your figurative, ‘get out of jail free’ card or it can get you that warm introduction to someone important to you who may otherwise be off limits.
My point is that in economically challenging times your alternative currencies may actually take you further than cash. For example, at Crossroads, for the wrong people, we don’t exist – no matter how much money or power they have or control.
When confidence levels, and more specifically consumer sentiment levels, are high, money flows easily and quickly. And this correlates highly with consumer spending habits and in turn the velocity of money. There tends to be an on-the-ground gut feeling that people get when these indicators are close to the extreme ends of the scale. Whether cognizant or not, people sense they are either very confident or highly unconfident about spending discretionary money, ie: for non-essential items. In layperson terms, this is the latte factor.
I believe we will soon be entering an age where trust bonds will be challenged.
But don’t take my hypothesis at face value.
Go read “The Speed of Trust”.
